“What If”: Thalia Reveals The Truth

In 2003, I love my life with Jason and Evan. I’ve never felt more love from two people in my 155+ years of existence. Our time together is full of true connection. We are all lucky to have found each other in this timeline. I love seeing Evan become the sensitive, passionate, smart, and emotionally intelligent human he his meant to be. I am already proud of him.

But, I also understand that my time with them is limited…I also feel shame, because I am lying to them every day. Knowing everything about the two most important people in my life makes me want to share who I truly am with them. After months of contemplating, weighing the pros and cons and meditating, I make a decision to show Evan the truth first.

My mornings typically begin by making Evan’s cereal before school. Evan always says “I grab the cereal if you grab the bowl”, in his squeaky 8-year-old voice that would melt any heart. Evan is not tall enough to grab any dishware from the cabinets without a small plastic ladder and I think he secretly wants me to feel needed. And also he enjoys our breakfast mornings because we always end up talking about aliens.

Are they real? What do they look like? Are we living among them? Do we think they are friendly?

We always decide that they exist and that they are friendly, of course.

On this particular day, I ask Evan “What if you currently know an Alien? How would that make you feel?” Evan responds, “I’d let them know that they are safe with me”. My heart melts and I am encouraged to share my truth with Evan, who is the best of humans. I take a deep breath and say “Well, I don’t know if I’m an alien but I do have abilities. One that helps me stay alive and never age. Evan do you understand me?” Evan gives me a puzzled look “How do you know that you can not die?”

I walk to a counter nearby and grab a small, sharp knife and give myself a small cut on the back of my right hand. As the blood begins to drip on the floor, the wound heals almost immediately, leaving a small drop of blood on the counter. Evan’s face changes to confusion, with one word that escapes him:

“How…”.

I explain to Evan that my gifts are not magic, I’ve had them as long as I could remember. I explain that I am close to 155 years old, not in my 30s. After explaining my origins and how I’ve been able to live in secret, Evan asks a question that changes our destiny; “What else can you do?”

Two weeks later, over breakfast, I am now able to move items with my mind in front of him freely. I feel a sense of relief, I can share my gifts with Evan and he still loves me. He says that I am a real life X-Men, and I nod with pride. Evan says that my secret is safe with him but he also says “Are you going to tell Dad, he deserves to know you too?” A knot forms in my stomach as I say “Soon, I’m a little nervous on what he will say or do. Let’s give it a little more time, okay?” Evan responds “Okay, I get it.”

Unfortunately, Evan understood my need for secrecy until he turns fifteen, when Evan gets kicked out of school for fighting.

My heart sinks, I understand clearly why Evan’s fighting is my fault.

While speaking with Evan on a possible punishment, I do not read his mind but I still understand his words as he says “Do you know how hard it is to lie to Dad everyday? Why did you burden me with this secret? I don’t want to lie to Dad anymore, so I get angry at you and myself. Because I feel like a bad person. How could you do this to me, Mom?”‍ ‍

I feel like dirt, he is right. I have to tell Jason to save our family.

My stomach drops, and I avoid Evan’s eyes. Giving a child an adult truth while asking him to keep this secret from someone close to him is my biggest failure as a parent. With tears rolling down my face, I respond “Let’s tell him together. I am truly sorry, I had no idea of how much this would hurt you. I was being selfish, thinking of my own fear of rejection from your Dad. Let’s tell him tonight at dinner.” Evan gives me a giant hug and says, Thank you, Mom, I love you. I decide not to punish Evan, he has suffered enough.

At dinner, Evan and I tell Jason everything about my gifts. Jason’s face is unreadable until we stop speaking. Jason slowly smiles at us and says

“I already knew…I saw you giving Evan the car keys before school one day. I thought I was imagining things until I saw you again changing the channel on the TV”.

Jason looks at me calmly.

“I’m glad you finally told me, I don’t care. I love you, not your abilities….and I think Aliens are friendly too.”